Identity and Sexuality
August – October 2024
Who are you? How can you be sure that you really know yourself?
We are encouraged to be true to ourselves. But also to be whoever we want to be. Let our feelings guide us. But we can’t always trust them. So who are we?
Across this series, we will find that Jesus offers the best answers to our deepest questions. More than that – Jesus makes sense of who we are.
Resources for Community Groups
These resources may be used to guide discussions in Community Groups, following the sermon. Questions for each week will be made available by the Sunday of that sermon.
Discussion Papers
The following papers are intended to provide brief theological reflection on important and complex topics. Suggested further reading is provided at the end of each paper should you wish to continue exploring.
Although these discussion papers are not intended to be a pastoral response to these matters, every effort has been made to write with compassion and care as we seek biblical truth. Should you have any concerns, requests for clarification, or find any of the material distressing, we encourage you to reach out to a member of the ministry team. We would love to sit with you and listen to your concerns.
#5 Sexuality and Desire (Coming Soon)
What does the Bible teach about desire and orientation?
#8 Relationships (Coming Soon)
What does the Bible teach about singleness?
Recommended Resources
There are many books, websites, and podcasts on a range of topics covered throughout this series. It can be difficult to sort through the vast array of options.
The following resources are those we have found especially helpful, and recommend for those looking to explore further.
Identity
Books
Finding Your Best Identity: A short Christian introduction to identity, sexuality and gender
Andrew Bunt
While many ask the important question ‘Who am I?’, in this short book Bunt asks the question ‘How can you know who you are?’. He takes a look at three sources we can look to for answers – what others think about us, how we think about ourselves, and how God thinks about us. It’s an excellent book addressing crucial questions about our identity.
Embodied: Living as Whole People in a Fractured World
Gregg Allison
Why do we have bodies? What does it mean to have a body? How do we live well in our bodies? Allison explores these questions in a very accessible and meaningful way. He provides very helpful summaries on a breadth of topics, all of which help us understand who we are as embodied people.
One Forever: The Transforming Power of Being In Christ
Rory Shiner
Overwhelmingly, when the Bible wants to describe being a Christian, it says that we are in Christ. But what does it mean to be in Christ? And how does this important biblical idea help us understand what God has done for us through Jesus, and what it means to be a Christian? This short book provides a clear and insightful look at this important topic.
The Truest Thing About You
David Lomas
This easy-to-read book does a great job at helping us understand what is most true about us – who we are because of Jesus. Lomas unpacks a variety of common views we hold about ourselves, and he anxiety it often causes us. He then shows how Jesus is the truest human being, and how, in him, we find the greatest truth and understanding about ourselves.
On the Road with Saint Augustine: A Real-World Spirituality for Restless Hearts
James K. A. Smith
This is not an easy book to read. But what it lacks in accessibility it more than compensates with deep treasures. The book explores a mix of the philosophy, theology and personal life of which Saint Augustine is famous for. He’s one of the most influential figures in all of human history. And he has a wealth of wisdom to cut to our very hearts and help us consider who we really are.
Sexuality
Books
Purposeful Sexuality: A Short Christian Introduction
Ed Shaw
Shaw presents a compelling case for why this is such a fraught topic, and how we should think about sexuality primarily through the lens of purpose. Once we understand the purpose of sexuality, we’ll make sense of much of the messiness and difficulty we feel on the subject.
A short and easy-to-read book, and worthy of being read widely.
Swipe Up: A better way to do love, sex and
relationships
Jason Roach
This short, punchy book is both personable and practical. The book is a loose retelling of his journey in understanding a biblical view of sexuality. It’s light, humorous, and doesn’t pull any punches. There are plenty of helpful examples, both positive and negative, that help paint a wonderful and compelling picture of God’s views on sex and sexuality.
A Better Story: God, Sex & Human Flourishing
Glynn Harrison
Harrison provides a lengthy exploration of many underlying stories of our culture and the false promises they make. It’s well researched and all-encompassing, covering many fields of study. The final third of the book outlines why the Christian story is a better story than any alternative, concluding with insightful thoughts on how we can tell this story in a way that is compelling to our world. Very insightful in analysing the complexity of issues of identity and sexuality.
Divine Sex: A Compelling Vision for Christian Relationships in a Hypersexualised Age
Jonathan Grant
In the first half of the book, Grant provides a sweeping view of various perspectives that compete for our attention and devotion. It is an excellent critique of some of the common thoughts and desires of our age. He then goes on to provide a detailed vision of God’s design for sex and relationships. A compelling and insightful read.
Love-ology
John Mark Comer
Comer offers an accessible overview of identity and sexuality. Typical of his writing for Gen-Y and Gen-Z, he is a straight-shooter, and seamlessly weaves together ancient ideas and words with critiques of modern expressions of sexuality that fail to deliver on their promises. He covers many of the controversial topics in a succinct and pointed manner.
Websites
The Centre for Faith, Sexuality and Gender
centerforfaith.com
This site contains an extensive collection of resources, articles and podcast episodes. It also has several paid online courses, including courses aimed at parents and teenagers.
Resisting Porn
resistporn.org
Plenty of helpful information on the dangers and damage caused by pornography. Practical advice for parents (and links to many more resources), and a guided process for those looking for self help.
Authentic Intimacy
authenticintimacy.com
A site with loads of Christian content on a whole range of issues, including marriage, singleness, sex, sexuality, and dating. Lots of articles and podcast episodes covering all these and more.
Fight The New Drug
fightthenewdrug.org
A secular website with loads of information on the impact pornography has on the brain, relationships and society. Also includes insights and stories on the relationship between pornography, sex trafficking, and the commercial sex industry. Plus plenty more stories, articles and advice.
Marriage
Books
The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Marriage with the Wisdom of God
Timothy Keller
An excellent book unpacking the Biblical teaching and wisdom on marriage. Keller provides plenty of insightful observations and critiques on our modern culture’s understanding of marriage, and how we can bring damaging perspectives into our own marriages. He shows how God’s design for marriage provides for the best marriages we could hope for, and how Jesus is the key to a healthy marriage. A great read for both married and unmarried alike.
Married for God
Christopher Ash
A briefer book than Keller’s above, this has been a regular recommendation for couples who are engaged or thinking about marriage, though it is also a good read for those already married. Through a mix of stories, examples and insights, Ash provides a clear picture of how to ensure that God is at the centre of your marriage.
An Impossible Marriage: What Our Mixed Orientation Marriage Has Taught Us about Love and the Gospel
Laurie & Matt Krieg
Why would a same-sex attracted woman marry a man? This is the premise of this part-testimony, part-theology book. Laurie and Matt share their journey, and the many struggles they have faced in their marriage – Laurie with her same-sex attraction, Matt with a pornography addiction. The book is a raw, honest account where they bring you up close and right into their personal lives. Above all, the Kriegs are keen to help readers understand that marriage’s purpose is to point to the relationship between Jesus and the church. Everything about love, relationships and marriage is ultimately about Jesus. Many others have written about this, but few with such piercing clarity.
Children and Divorce: Helping when Life Interrupts
Amy Baker
This very short (16 pages!) book is specifically written for parents to help them care for their children through divorce. It is gracious, warm, and has plenty of practical wisdom.
Singleness
Books
7 Myths about Singleness
Sam Allberry
This book sets forth a positive vision of singleness by responding to 7 common misconceptions, such as the notion that singleness is too hard, requires a special spiritual gift, is a hindrance to ministry, or is a waste of sexuality. Addressed to the church as a whole and written by a single pastor, 7 Myths about Singleness will help readers better understand, support, and empower the singles around them to contribute to the flourishing of the church as a whole.
The Meaning of Singleness: Retrieving an Eschatological Vision for the Contemporary Church
Danielle Treweek
This book offers biblical, historical, cultural, and theological reflections to retrieve a theology of singleness for the church today. Single Christians present the church with a foretaste of the eschatological reality that awaits all of God’s people. Far from being a burden, then, Christian singleness is among the highest vocations of the faith. This is a deep, broad and all-encompassing read.
Podcasts
Single Minded Stories
www.singleminded.community/podcast
A podcast about singleness, but for everyone! In each episode of Single Minded Stories, we meet an unmarried Christian who candidly shares the joy, challenges and opportunities of their relationship with Jesus and his people.
Websites
Single Minded
www.singleminded.community
A Sydney-based ministry that runs training and conferences on issues related to singleness and the church. The website has plenty of video content from their past events.
Gender
Books
Jesus & Gender: Living as Sisters and Brothers in Christ
Elyse Fitzpatrick & Eric Schumacher
This book provides an excellent overview of understanding gender, gender roles, and how we ought to relate to one another as brothers and sisters in Christ. A real strength of the book is that it covers a sweeping breadth of the topic, and highlights some of the ways our modern context has often overlooked key Biblical texts, or become sidetracked by lesser issues. The authors do well to keep Jesus front and centre through many complex issues.
Talking to Kids about Gender Identity: A Roadmap for Christian Compassion, Civility, and Conviction
Mark Yarhouse
Although written with parents in mind, this book is an excellent read for anyone. Yarhouse has been a leading Christian expert in writing on issues of gender and sexuality. The book handles complex topics with great sensitivity and compassion. Yarhouse is known for his research-based methodology, and this book will provide plenty of insights. There is no alarmism here. If you feel in any way lost or confused among the modern conversations around gender and sexuality, this is the book you should read.
Transgender
Vaughan Roberts
At a little over 70 pages, this very brief book provides a useful introduction to the topic of transgender, and offers some thoughts on how the gospel of Jesus speaks to this topic. It also includes some practical wisdom. A great place to start if you feel clueless, or you’re not much of a reader.
The Gender Revolution
Patricia Weerakoon
This book explores some of the current conversations around identity, sexuality and gender. Weerakoon is a renowned doctor, counsellor and sex therapist, and brings her collection of skills and wisdom to bear in this book. It is a helpful resource for someone looking to explore these issues in further detail.
Hearing Her Voice
John Dickson
This book presents a case for understanding a difficult and controversial section of 1 Timothy 2. John seeks to provide an argument for why women should not be excluded from preaching on the basis of these verses.
Jesus, Justice, and Gender Roles
Kathy Keller
Somewhat of a mirror opposite to Dickson’s book, Kathy provides a mix of her own story, and an unpacking of how gender differences should be expressed in church life, and why she believes women should not preach in mixed congregations.
Neither Complementarian nor Egalitarian: A Kingdom Corrective to the Evangelical Debate
Michelle Lee-Barnewall
When it comes to thinking about gender roles in church life, this book challenges many modern conceptions of the issue from its very title. The book begins with an overview of history – how did we get here – followed by an analysis of gender roles in church, leadership and marriage. It provides a convincing case for avoiding simplistic labels, and rethinking afresh Jesus’ teaching on mutual service, equality, power, and rights.
Sexual Orientation
Books
Born Again This Way: Coming Out, Coming to Faith and What Comes Next
Rachel Gilson
This excellent book tells Gilson’s personal story from coming out as gay to coming to faith in Jesus. Along the journey, she shares how she wrestled with passages in scripture, stumbled backwards into the arms of old lovers, and was ultimately captured by the grace, forgiveness and beauty of Jesus. It’s a compelling read and has important things to say on singleness, sexuality, relationships, and friendship.
A War of Loves: The Unexpected Story of a Gay Activist Discovering Jesus
David Bennett
Bennett tells a very personal tale of his journey towards faith in Jesus, with numerous bumps, withdrawals, second-guessing, frustrations, doubts and fears along the way. Though mostly autobiographical, there are plenty of moments Bennett stops to wrestle and ponder theology. Bennet is very candid doesn’t shy away from critiquing people and ideas from both the Christian world and the gay community. It’s confronting in all the right ways. It will probably (helpfully!) cause every reader to reconsider something of their own held beliefs, regardless of where they are coming from.
Does the Bible affirm same-sex
relationships? Examining 10 Claims about Scripture and Sexuality
Rebecca McLaughlin
At just over 100 pages, this book packs in a lot. McLaughlin tackles 10 of the most common claims that are made against traditional views and holds them under a microscope, such as: Jesus was silent on same-sex relationships; Paul condemns exploitative same-sex relationships, not consensual ones; and, a God of love can’t be against relationships of love. She explores the topics in punchy, bite-sized chapters. A great resource for considering the Bible’s teaching.
Is God anti-gay?
Sam Allberry
In this short, simple book, Sam Allberry wants to help confused Christians understand what God has said about questions around God and homosexuality in the scriptures and offers a positive and liberating way forward through the debate.
Podcasts
Undeceptions
Episode 24: LGBTI Christian with Rachel Gilson
undeceptions.com
In this episode, Rachel shares a bit of her personal story as a same-sex attracted woman who came to love Jesus.
Consider this an introductory teaser to her book, Born Again This Way.
Undeceptions Episode (Single): Holy Virginity with David Bennett
undeceptions.com
The pursuit of celibacy is seen as strange, taboo, and repressive in modern society. But that’s what David Bennett, a gay man, decided, after becoming a Christian during a night out in Sydney’s gay quarter.
Since then, he’s become a scholar of “holy virginity”, and the queerness of his Lord, Jesus. This is his story. Consider this an introductory teaser to his book, A War of Loves.
Websites
Living Out
www.livingout.org
Led by Ed Shaw, this site contains a collection of stories, articles, podcast episodes and more. An emphasis on same-sex attraction, but there is plenty here on marriage, singleness, gender and identity.
Living Faith
www.livingfaith.online
A Sydney Anglican ministry to Christians who experience same-sex attraction or gender incongruence. There is lots of video content from Patricia Weerakoon, Rob Smith and Sam Allberry, among others.
Friendship
Books
No Greater Love
Rebecca McLaughlin
This book provides an excellent overview of the significance and purpose of friendship. Friendship is often a neglected aspect of the Christian life in our culture, and McLaughlin provides an important corrective for us. Easy to read, compelling, and helping us to see the Bible’s high view of friendship. You’ll be a better friend after reading this.
Podcasts
Undeceptions Episode 52: On Friendship with Sam Allberry and Ronald Sharp
undeceptions.com
Friendship has been a central relationship in almost every culture that we know of. But these days, it’s on the brink. This episode explores history and literature to rediscover the significance of friendship.
Youth
Books
Growing Up By The Book
Patricia Weerakoon
In this guidebook Christian sex therapist and educator Patricia Weerakoon candidly answers the most common questions kids aged 10-14 have about puberty, sex and relationships. All her responses are placed within the context of God’s plan for our lives, as revealed in Scripture.
Teen Sex By The Book
Patricia Weerakoon
Discover how living God’s countercultural lifestyle leads to healthy, pleasurable sex and intimate, satisfying relationships that last a lifetime. Patricia Weerakoon, explores the topics of sexual desire and arousal, falling in love, and dating-things like, ‘How far is too far?’ Recommended for older readers.
Talking Sex By The Book
Patricia Weerakoon
Patricia Weerakoon combines secular research with biblical guidelines to answer questions and give advice for different age levels from toddlers to teens and beyond on topics such as body development and image, sex and relationships, pornography and gender. There are also activities to help parents to work through their own hesitations and concerns.
Sex
Scott Petty
The Little Black Books series get straight to the point on the topics that Christians always have questions about. These are ideal for young Christians (ages 12+) but speak biblical truths applicable to any age. In this book, Scott Petty gives some very practical and biblical advice about sex and relationships.
A New Freedom
Mike Snowdon
This book is like a training manual on how to approach life – a beginner’s guide to Christian ethics. It provides a framework for approaching any topic in a comprehensive and biblically faithful way, explaining why Jesus and His word help us live in freedom. It then gives practical examples of how to use this framework to think biblically by going through six key youth topics: study, money, suffering, violence, sex, and identity. Ideal for highschoolers.
Parent Guides to Mental & Sexual Health
Axis
This bundle unravels parents’ fears about breaching sensitive topics like sex, pornography, sexual assault, suicide, self-harm, depression, and anxiety. These 5 conversation starter books give parents an awareness of the cultural messages teens are receiving on these topics and provide parents an avenue to reach their teens where they are at.
Parent Guides To Finding True Identity
Axis
This bundle is for parents wondering what influences their teens today and how to guide them to be the best versions of themselves using biblical wisdom and engaging discussion questions. Each of these five booklets focuses on a different area of identity formation: fear and worry, eating disorders, body positivity, LGBTQ+ and your teen and teen identity.
Parent Guides to Social Media
Axis
It’s common for parents to feel lost in their teen’s world. They can sift through the social media slang, texting shorthand, and viral quotes, and still feel disconnected and confused. This bundle is a generational translator of a teen’s world, featuring easy-to-understand explanations, relevant descriptions, and life applications while also covering some of the potential dangers of the online world.
Kids
Books
You & Me By The Book
Patricia Weerakoon
In You and Me by the Book, children learn that God had created them right from the beginning to be either a boy or a girl, regardless of how they feel or what they like to do. Patricia Weerakoon leads children to understand that God’s plan for them is good, and that it is part of a bigger purpose in which God never stops loving his people. Suitable for ages 2-6.
Birds and the Bees By The Book
Patricia Weerakoon
Designed for parents and carers to read with children aged 7 to 10, Birds and Bees by the Book has been created to help you have conversations about sexuality, gender and identity with your children and at your own pace. Written by Patricia Weerakoon, the six books in this set are designed to be read in whichever order suits you and your child.
God Made All of Me
Justin and Lindsey Holcomb
God Made All of Me by Justin and Lindsey Holcomb is an invaluable resource and beautifully illustrated story to help families to find encouragement, clear guidance, and the tools necessary to facilitate open conversations about how your children can protect their bodies; an important step in keeping them as safe as possible. Suitable for ages 3-8.
Who Am I And Why Do I Matter?
Chris Morphew
Sooner or later, kids ask big questions about themselves and their faith: Who am I? Where do I fit in? Am I good enough? What do people think of me? What does God think of me? In this warm, empathetic book, Morphew shows children how to embrace and enjoy their identity as those loved by God and made in his image. He also gives lots of practical advice on how to remember what God says about who they really are. Suitable for ages 8-12.
Sermons
Watch our livestreams below, or listen to the sermons on Spotify.
1. Who am I?
Genesis 1:26-28
1 Peter 2:4-10
2. Why do we have a sexuality?
Genesis 1:26-28, 2:18-25
3. Why do we have a gender?
Genesis 1:26-28
Ephesians 5:21-33
4. What is marriage designed to do? (Part 1)
Genesis 2:18-25
Ephesians 5:21-33
5. What is marriage designed to do? (Part 2)
1 Thessalonians 4:1-12
Ephesians 5:21-33
6. What is singleness designed to do?
1 Corinthians 7:7-9, 25-40
7. What is friendship designed to do?
John 15:9-17
8. What is sexual intimacy designed to do?
Genesis 2:18-25
1 Corinthians 7:1-7
9. What is sexual desire designed to do?
James 1:13-18
Romans 8:1-17
10. How does Jesus make sense of our sexual brokenness?
Psalm 25:1-11
Romans 6:1-14
11. How does Jesus make sense of us?
2 Corinthians 5:17-21